10th : HabluminAllah wa Habluminannas

Susahnya nak cari my first word dalam belog ni. It's like an annual report pulak since my last post was on November last year. And today ai comeback with my new write up and now it's already middle of December. How time flies and how time really taught me about life.

Life.

Yes, life.

The journey.

Lyraz is now 10th.

Siapa sangka, we have made this far.

Four kids has completed us. A family. 

Jasmin, Adam, Orked & Airis. Yang mana Allah amanahkan dan tanggungjawabkan hingga di Masyar kelak.

Our story is more too beautiful for me to share.

We have been riding the waves, walking on the sands and flying high to the highest sky that we could ever reach. So much of unforgettable moments for me to describe as ai feel that i am the luckiest woman on earth.

Aku tak harapkan untuk kau baca semua ini. Tapi aku tulis semua ini supaya suatu hari nanti, bila sudah tiada jalan for both of us, at least this will make you know how ai still make an effort to make everything good again. 

We have gone through with so many things we can't never predict; from the greatest happiness of our lives until to the betrayal and sadness and beyond it, and through thick and thin, high and low together dan apa sahaja. Sampai satu masa, i thought that nothing in these world could make us apart. Anyway, i'm wrong. 

Aku lupa dan aku leka, above of all, Allah itu yang nombor satu.

Allah boleh bagi bila-bila masa dan akan akan ambil bila-bila masa ikut kehendak Dia.

Aku tak pernah menyalahkan siapa-siapa dengan apa yang jadi pada diri aku atau sejahat mana pun kau sekarang. Apa juga yang aku hadap sekarang mungkin dari kesilapan dan kifarah dosa aku yang lalu dan ini juga adalah kehendah Allah. Sepahit ujian ini pastinya ada hikmah yang manis di hujung perjalanan aku. May Allah forgive all the evil hearts towards us. Buat atau cakaplah apa pun, i've seen all the dark side of them and ai ask Allah to give them more love so that it will heal their sick heart. 

Sept'23rd, 2017

Aku harap kau jumpa fitrah kau kembali. Kalaupun kau harap aku untuk tunggu kau kembali, aku tunggu. Walaubagaimana patah pun hatiku pada masa lalu, patah lagi hatiku untuk melihat anak-anak terus menjauhi aku di masa depanku.

Kalaupun tiada ruang untuk aku terus berada diantara kamu, jiwaku selalu berada di dalam hatimu, anak-anakku. Memerhati setiap gerakmu dari setiap arah tanpa kamu ketahui dan penyaksian ini antara yang akan aku abadikan untuk setiap ingatan memoriku. 

10th.
Sept'23rd, 2017.

No one is sent by accident to anyone. Qada' dan Qadar Allah itu jelas. Hubungan dengan Allah itu wujud. Hubungan sesama makhluk itu fitrah. Dua- dua kena jaga. Kalau lurus hubungan aku dengan Allah maka lurus juga hubungan aku dengan orang-orang yang aku sayang. 

Jalan takwa itu tidak semudah yang aku sangka. Aku tak maksum. Aku juga bukan malaikat. Istiqamah itu tak semudah ayat-ayat pakar-pakar motivasi yang aku selalu kongsikan di socmed aku setiap hari. 

Untuk aku imbas segala cerita indah antara aku dan kau, pastinya tidak akan cukup di ruang belog ini untuk aku luah. Dan ingatan pahit kita juga sama banyaknya untuk aku simpulkan.

Aku tak pasti apa yang kau cari lagi. Aku sudah puas mencari diri aku dan aku sudah pun dapat jawabnya. Tak perlu pandang jauh, semua ada di depan mata; anak-anak kita. 

Ai ask Allah everytime untuk keluarkan aku dari keserabutan ini. Allah tidak akan membebani aku dengan suatu ujian yang mana mungkin aku takkan kuat untuk mengharunginya . And ai believe as same as Nabi Yunus berdoa dan bertawakal, pergantungan kita pada Allah in sha allah will lead us to Jannah.

Everyone wants happy ending story and so do ai. Pray for us. 

Happy new year! 

Orked-ku Sakit

Assalammualaikum kiddos. 

Wattudu~~

Phew. What a long holiday. Ai just come back to work today after a long leave last week. 

Thank God my RM and Engineer outstesen ke JB hari ni. So let's beloging kejap cos ai don't have my own sweet time kat opis ni when they around. Of cos they don't mind pon but it's not good lah kot.

Orked sakit. Dah sebulan lebih sebenarnya. 

On off URTI. And due to that, the flu has infected her ears!

Kronologinya, last August, at first it started when we found out macam kudis api sekitar muka Orked. Keluar bintik berair merah gitu sekitar mata dan telinga.

And later she started to have fever.

And of cos diikuti dengan flu yang forever never stop.

Later the flu yang membawa ke demam berbalik-balik.

And now, the flu infected her ears.

Can you imagine how a mother would feel seeing her daughter hadap penyakit bertimpa-timpa macam ni.

You tell me, which mother yang nyenyak tidor malamnya bila anaknya sakit. It was a nightmare for me!

Yes, dugaan besar buat saya. Especially bila kena hadap macam-macam tanggapan semua orang yang dok sebok jadi tok hakim. Well, ai try not to blamed anyone cos every single matters that come to me is only because i am the one yang create it sendiri. Redha je lah.

Saya manusia biasa, not every responsible ai can handle myself but anyway Alhamdulillah, ai managed it wisely. Even what outside people nak kata, hey, this is my shoe, how can u fit ur feet in mine kan?

Anyway, Orked stays in nursery like 8 to 9 hours per day and of cos the baysitter akan look after her dari pagi sampai ke petang saya balik kerja. Ai put my 100% and extra 10% trust on my babysitter as ai don't have any other choices cos ai have to go to work to help my family financial.

No one understand us better except our own family. At this crucial time, ofkos ai need a support and usually ai referred directly to mommy. She have better experience. No doubt! Ai need mommy. I don't know what to do if she's not around.

From the private clinic and later on ai took her myself to KK Seremban pulak hope that goverment clinic can give some good medication and they gave her nebulizer and antibiotics and later gone back to the private clinic and last we went to the ENT clinic. 

Inilah dia, pengalaman membesarkan anak-anak. I can't imagine what happen if all my three kids jatuh sakit serentak. Rasanya ai'll take a year unpaid leave or maybe resign terus. Sigh~ huehuehue.
 

Alhamdulillah, this girl is getting better everyday!

At Dr Ch'ng ENT Clinic, Seremban

And yes, to release all the stress yang datang menimpa-nimpa lately, yesterday Razi took all of us for family outing. Orked haven't gone out since Monday last week except for her ENT checked up on Thursday. Ai preferred her to be stayed at home, well at least to made her feel better.

We went outing to the usual place. A good place to hang out with kiddos yesterday afternoon at Marrybrown Sendayan. Kids love going there cos ada playground yang not so crowded and ai also don't have to worry dengan safety mereka. Anyway, still trying my best to avoid the McD's for the kids as generally i am now practicing myself not to give them fast food anymore. In sha Allah.


And later to Mydin for some shopping and bowling. Yes, Bowling! First time for Adam & Orked but okaylah the place. Orang pon tak ramai. Senang handle anak-anak. Sadly no bowling pictures cos yesterday ai didn't bring my handbag and ai had to left my phone inside my car. Blergghh.

Anyway, it was a good quality time yesterday. There's always a good thing waiting at the end of the road, baik sangka aja lah. Good to see everyone and everything is back to normal again.

To made her feel happy and calm, ai had to change the carbonated drinks to mineral water. Pretending that she's having a Pepsi.

My super annoying adorable little rug-rats never failed to made me scream and shouting at all time. Hahahaha. So much story to share with u guys when u ols grown up nnt.

My Weekend dengan anak-anak saya

Lama rasanya tak ada hapdet tentang anak-anak dalam taman bunga saya ni.

Yang sulung, Jasmin, yang tengah Adam dan yang bungsu Orked; thousands of perangai, thousands of kehendak, thousands of cerita, terlalu banyak sebenarnya untuk di kongsi tentang grown up process mereka.

Usually our weekend tak kan end up dengan benda yang sama. 

Sometimes ke rumah nenek di Rasah, sometimes ke rumah atok dan wan di Rombau, sometimes spent our times pergi sight seeing, short vacay, visit relatives and sometimes we just be at home and enjoying every moment bergomol bergumpal bersama. 

Having three of them at home is a "party"!!!

 

My beautiful Sunday

A quick update before im off to bed. 

My weekend is passing by super fast this week.

I had a wonderful Saturday and a lovely Sunday with the family.

Yesterday, it was my family gathering and of cos G's family is expecting a new member in the house soon. In sha allah, minta tuhan restu dan permudahkan urusan kami semua.

And today, i had a lovely sunday with the in laws in PD.

Went over to my SIL house for lunch and of cos ai had her best tea tarik for tea time.

And before we went back to Seremban,

kiddos wanted to stop over to the beach playing with the sand.

Capturing every moment on spending our quality time with the kids. 

My Orked Adelia. Happy baby!

The love of a father

Adam was so afraid of the water. Can't help it!

Thanks to my girl Jasmin for capturing tis' family moment. No picture of her today cos she was so busy playing with the sands!

Hari-Raya-Ku, 2013

Eh, dah lambat ek nak share cerita Raya?
Tapi kat my bloglist timeline bederet je lagi cerita tentang raya sakan walau dan expired Syawal 1314 tahun ni.

Anyway, dis r my short story of my Hari Raya dis year.
All pictures randomly taken from my phone gallery and my siblings facebook.

This year was Razi's turn beraya di kampong at Kg Penajis Tanjung, Rembau.
Rembau sangat sinonim dengan saya sebab mommy juga asalnya Rembau.

Asalnya kami dari suku yang berbeza. Saya dari suku tanah data dan razi pula dari suku biduanda dagang. Masih ingat lagi semasa mula-mula nak bernikah dulu, perkara pertama orang nismilan nak tau, 

"Ekau dari suku mano"

Kerananya, dalam adat pepatih, lelaki dan perempuan di dalam satu suku yang sama, tak boleh berkahwin. Haaaa, nak tau kenapa kena la baca kat sini. 

Untungnya dis year, cuti maternity leave saya dipanjangkan sampai la ke raya ke empat. Dan hari Isnin raya kelima saya dah mula bertugas dan sampaaaaaaiii la ni baru dapat bernafas sikit sebab busy ngan workload yang tertangguh sebelum maternity leave hari tu dan juga nak siapkan drawing proposal yang melambak-lambak untuk project baru. Hari ni dapat mem-belog sikit sebab manager dah ke Delhi dan engineer dah ke Singapore, dan tukang lukis kat opis ni ber-aktiviti bebas. Hehe!

Back to our Hari Raya stories, we just spent three days kat kampong Razi and on petang first raya kami dah balik ke Seremban. Dis year cemerlang sikit sebab sempat juga beraya rumah jiran-jiran di kampong Razi. :) Seronok the kids dapat jalan-jalan keluar masuk rumah orang and the best part dapat collect duit raya, especially Adam. 

Tapi tahun ni tak ada gambar dengan family Razi, sebab lepas sembahyang raya, pastu sesi salam salam peluk peluk mintak ampun mintak maap, terus orang datang serbu nak beraya. First day of Hari Raya di kampung memang sangat busy. Start dari a day before raya saaaaaaaaaampai la ke pagi raya, mak-in-law is the busiest woman in the kitchen. 

This year ai am shooo busy with Orked. But still ai manage bergabung tenaga with anak dara-anak dara kakak-in-law memasang langsir. Memang itu je la kot aktiviti ku di Hari Raya kalau di kampung. Belum ada peluang masuk dapur mak-in-law time raya sebab bila turn beraya di Rembau, time tu la ai ada anak kecik. In-sha-allah, panjang umur murah rezeki, for the future coming Hari Raya akan ku sibukkan diri ku di kitchen my mak-in-law. :)

Jasmin on the first day of Hari Raya in baby-blue kurung moden. Last minute found it at K.M. Seremban selepas our mission ke PKNS Shah Alam failed sebab baru je jejak kaki kat pintu masuk both kiddos dah start tantrum and Orked suddenly became cranky. Haish!

Sungguh payah nak tangkap gambar ini budak! Baju Melayu Adam dapat di Anggerik Mall, last piece, try carik yang sama untuk matchingkan dengan Jasmin, tak jumpa. Dang! So tahun ni tema raya agak bebas dan we'ols hanya recycle apa yang ada aja.

The kids and mak-kids on the first day of hari raya di Puchong umah Opah. *et, bila la den nak dapek amek gambar cenni weyh?*

2nd Day of Hari Raya with G's family :)

Mommy and Babah and my youngest sister Ica. Raya 2013. Blessed. Alhamdulillah, masih lagi dapat bersama beraya dengan orang-orang kesayangan. Syukur masih dapat beraya dengan kedua orang tua ku. Tuhan, berikan kedua-dua orang tuaku, mommy dan babah, kesihatan yang baik, dipanjangkan umur, dipermudahkan urusan kehidupan mereka dan sentiasa berada di bawah lindungan rahmat-Mu. Aamiin.

And that's it my hari raya stories dis year. 

Alhamdulillah. 

Semua bahagia. Semua gembira. Semua ceria.

Semoga bertemu lagi di Syawal tahun hadapan, in sha allah.

WW#35 Happy Moment

Desa Cattle Farm, Mesilau, Kundasang, Sabah

Feb'13